Husband and I got into a fight a couple of days ago over how I don’t like it when he criticizes me. Had a panic attack yesterday after he told me that maybe we should split up if I’m unhappy with that about him but then he apologized and was very comforting and helped me with breathing exercises. Suicidal ideation was like a repetitive loop telling me I just wanted to not exist anymore. Am basically emotionally drained today and am spending it in bed. Sister-in-law and her wife are visiting and I feel selfish for sequestering myself in the bedroom all day but husband said I should take it easy and rest. Feeling absolutely hopeless about my future. How effortlessly he threw in that us breaking up is even an option makes me think our relationship isn’t as stable as I thought it was. I lost my only tutoring client after I raised my prices for the year. My father-in-law has a deadly clot untreated due to hospitals being full of Covid patients and my 97 year-old grandmother-in-law with dementia just had her husband die and is now alone and starving in France. I am overwhelmed. Just needed somewhere to vent and not feel alone.