I think I am a lost cause. I have no idea what I want to do in life or what courses I want to take in college. My parents clearly want me to be a doctor. I don’t think I am capable of that, at least I dont *want* to. I can’t focus on studies anymore, my grades are worse than ever. My parents are disappointed in me and keep scolding me for everything, all the time. Calling me useless, half wit, dumb, lazy etc etc.

I told them I don’t wanna do it but they won’t listen. It’s “family honor” we’re talking about. Must become a doctor, anyhow. They say I’m not depressed, only lazy and rebellious and stupid. They say I am not depressed, but it’s only a fake excuse to not work.

I don’t want to do anything anymore. Except sleep and watch movies.

I have no idea what to do. I hope this is rock bottom, because if I go anymore deeper, I won’t be able to tolerate it anymore.